Enough

by | Feb 2, 2020 | Weight Loss

“Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and at some point you will.” – Venus Williams

I have been losing weight for at least the past 25 years. No, I’m serious, I can’t remember a time in my life when weight wasn’t part of my dialogue. It started sometime in high school and ever since, I’ve been on and off the proverbial “wagon” with no real progress. In fact, I don’t remember ever being comfortable in my own skin, I always saw myself as “the fat girl.” There were times that I was less heavy or had moderate success in various weight loss attempts, but I never achieved long-term sustainability and I was always bigger than my friends. Along the way, you name it, every weight-loss pill, program, or fad, I tried it. All resulting in short-term success and long-term disappointment. Well, can I just say, I’ve had ENOUGH!

So, prior to embarking on another weight loss journey, I decided to unpack a few things; do an audit if you will, to see if I could determine why I continue to struggle with sustainable and successful weight loss. Here are a few interesting things I realized about myself during this exercise:

  1. I love food, specifically French fries, seriously, I can’t get enough (this revelation was not a surprise).
  2. I tend to become a bit obsessive and sometimes rigid with any plan I start.
  3. I need accountability outside of myself.
  4. I want instant gratification.
  5. I’m not a fan of exercise…in fact, I might be allergic.
  6. Even small variations in my routine or meal plans can completely derail me.
  7. I am a weight-loss starting procrastinator (I can’t start in the middle of the week, month, day etc.).

Each of those realizations, corrected, will absolutely help me succeed short-term. But I was sure the key to long-term success and sustainability went deeper than the tactical steps, good habits, or the “rules” associated with weight loss. Hence, I dug a little deeper and what I came up with was eye-opening.

I examined who was part of my life each time I started a new weight loss journey and found one commonality. This person always started out as my strongest supporter and loudest cheerleader, but somewhere along the way always became my strongest opponent. This person was unkind, relentless, and unforgiving. She had standards and expectations that were unrealistic; she never missed a chance to remind me that my achievements paled in comparison to others around me.

You know what? I believed every word – after all, she knew me better than anyone. I know what you’re thinking “why haven’t you eliminated this toxic person from your life?”, right?! Unfortunately, it’s not so simple when she is staring back at you in the mirror every morning.

After a few months of self-reflection (and a few self-help books), I have recommitted myself to WW, gotten help for my French fry addiction, and most importantly, I have realized that I am enough. Right where I stand, in this moment, I am enough. I still have a long way to go and a lot of work to do, but in each step forward, I will have enough, and I will be enough.

If you can relate, even a little bit, I am here today to say ENOUGH! Stop the self-deprecating commentary. Stop the could having, would having and most of all should having. Stop comparing your lows to other’s highs. Do whatever you have to do, but stop today! Instead, remind yourself daily – no, better yet, hourly – that you are enough, and that you are doing enough. Today, be your own biggest fan, celebrate every achievement (even the teeny tiny ones), AND finally, start being the friend to yourself that you are to others. You are strong, you are beautiful, and you are enough.